A very close friend of mine who's working in Vietnam right now asked me on Skype yesterday if I want to go to Japan for a short holiday with him. He plans to go to language school there next year and if I go, we can practice our Japanese - it's just going to be me leeching off his lessons - and pig out at fab restaurants together. I think that's a swell idea and I can already picture us having tons of fun because I know I can always be myself in front of him and he never judge me even when I do selfish things. Also, he enjoys my stories a lot. But alas, I don't think that trip is possible this year.
By the start of the second half of the year, I'd be busy with a project that will take up all my time and dedication. I want to make it a success so overseas trips are out of the question. Besides, I've been traveling quite a bit for the past year and Japan trip will definitely cost an arm and leg as we know it's a shopping haven for young women like me. I know I won't have to worry about carrying my hauls because he always helps me carry my stuff and I'd get to act like a spoiled brat around such an understanding and giving friend. Before I have this confidante, I used to think that platonic love is ridiculous and completely impossible but now I know that it exists. Things would be so great and much simpler if only I'm in love with him. But I'm not. And he's not. Matters of the heart are just illogical and uncontrollable.
Actually, days prior to this conversation, my older sis also asked me if I wanted to go to Japan in March with her and her friend but I told her no for the same reason I told my friend. We recently bought a few jdrama series too, finally breaking the string of kdrama series to watch. All these talks and little popups of Japanese stuff around me make me feel like Japan is calling out to me gently...that I gotta go to Japan soon. JAPAN...JAPANNNNN..MARS, JAPANNNN.
Yeah, right. Sorry, babeh. No Japan this year. I'm gonna make do with Singapore for Lunar New Year and USA in May~June only. (and another trip to beloved HK hopefully)
Anything else will have to wait till next year.
Then he asked me for gossips.
(.__. )
him: okay, tell me what happened
me: we better not turn into gossipmongers. it's not gossip, but still..
him: well, according to how the trend goes...
I only gossip when I converse with you ...
me: so I'm the gossip gueen/provider, you mean?
fml.
him: you are an entertainer. lol
me: I should get paid for this.
my life in pieces. taken as entertainment
him: our friendship's priceless.
ok. you can entertain me now.
So I told him all about my high schoolmate who accused my sc (her bf's friends too) friends and I of mistreating her and her bf when we were in HK. She foolishly told this to a mutual friend Q who secretly dislikes her and doesn't really want her in her home come May. That high schoolmate, let's call her L for convenience sake, and another girl will be visiting Q and staying at Q's place for a weekend. I won't have to play host because I'd be in LA by then. Q initially only invited the other girl to visit but probably not wanting to be the lone guest, the girl invited L to come along as well without asking Q beforehand and Q couldn't bring herself to say no to it anyways. Now Q is worried that the same thing would happen as when these two girls came to visit last year. Not only did they stay at Q's place -free, use her driver to go everywhere (never tipped him too), ask to be brought to the clubs but they also expect her to pay for meals etc cetera because Q's family is well-off. Q's family may be wealthy but she's working independently on a standard, meagre local salary and she doesn't want to take money from her parents anymore so she can't afford to pay for others' expenses. They owed her quite a lot for drinks the last time they came because the girls claimed they did not bring any cash and they promised to pay her back but they haven't. They must have expected Q's guy friends to foot the bill. The thing about guys here is that they'd usually foot the bill only if the females at the table are their direct friends or if they like the girls.
Anyway, I've digressed a little too much. The introduction is just a slight peep into the personalities of the girls here especially L who accused me of mistreating her. She came to visit/do summer study in the US two summers ago and many things happened that led me to believe she's not a good person at all. One of them is asking me to pay her cash for meals so she could use the emergency credit card afforded to her by her salaryman uncle to pay for the meal and use her own cash to do other things like shopping [beyond her own budget]. So when her uncle received the bill, he would see that it was spent on food and not on unnecessary items the family couldn't afford. Her parents did not have spare fund for her but she took advantage of her uncle's generosity even though her uncle is not making a lot of money either. While she was in US, I introduced her to my college friends and she quickly got together with one who had a dark past (drugdealers to teens, anyone?). He has since changed and is actually pretty nice if he doesn't spew bullshit and big empty talk all the time. Fast forward two years later, we were all in HK one night. My friends (L's bf's friends too) didn't talk much with L. I've distanced myself from L but there in HK, I'm her only link to these people, especially with the other girls because they don't really give a shit for L's bf. However, I didn't make any effort to include her in conversations at all because I'm not obliged to do so and it's not my duty to make her feel at home. The girls are my sorority sisters so it's natural that a lot of inside jokes and talk about mutual friends took place which might have baffled others. One of them also told me before that she couldn't really understand L's
Singlish.
I guess she feels bitter that my friends and I didn't talk to her very much at all but the reality is that we are not anyone's babysitter, especially not to someone who's just a friend of a friend. I'm guilty of ignoring her but I don't want to get involved with her in any way so I'm not sorry for it. My psis asked me why L is still dating that guy till now because she thinks the guy is full of bs too. It goes to show the actual sentiment they feel for him even though he mistakenly assumes them to be his very good friends. L also accused her bf's friends of making him pay for meals because he's the only guy around but that's a FALSE ACCUSATION. At least for the one night I met them. My HK friends were on their own turf and they're all financially above the average population and I was there as well so I knew everyone went dutch like they do in US. If there was anyone's share getting paid by someone else, it was L's because her bf paid for everything, probably even her ticket to HK.
At the end of that night, we agreed to meet up at one of the girls' homes the next day but my psis and I got there really late that night and L+bf already left even though they just came less than an hour to that house. I didn't understand why they had to leave so early until I saw the people who were in the house. Everyone came from the same high school and tend to speak either Cantonese or fluent English. None of that Cantonese-accented English there and there was a lot of inside talk. A few minutes in the circle confirmed my assumption that these were kids who don't let strangers easily between them. Good thing I understand a smattering of Cantonese and my social skills are good enough to ease myself in whatever situation, thanks to years of being 'thrown out there' by the parents.
Frankly speaking, I didn't want to blog about this at first because
1. I know it's going to be a long post
2. I don't need to remember ingrates and another ugly piece of the world.
but I decided to write about it so that I would be able to recall the kind words and advice my friend in Vietnam gave me. So that I remember what I've seen before and how it was dealt with and that I have wonderful people surrounding me despite all these backlashes. I can't please everyone but I can decide who the important people in my life are and focus my energy on them. I don't need to explain myself to the ones who don't deserve my attention and it's high time I sever ties with them. After all,
Don't worry about people from your past. There's a reason they don't make it to your future.
Right?
On another tangent, one of my psis (I have 12) in LA just received acceptance to a law school! I'm so happy for her!!!!! She majored in print journalism for her undergraduate degree and I'll be there for her walking ceremony this May.
And this is the first time I'm blogging through email. Convenient. Oh, what would I do without my Blackberry.
PS: I keep mistyping Vietnam as Vietname. Dang.